August 19, 2013

Getting Along With The Parents: A New Sort Of Long DIstance Relationship

Heading off to college and kissing mom and dad goodbye might sound like a dream come true to you. Four years of freedom and zero parental guidance! Even if you got along well with your parents, it’s an exciting time for sure. Get ready to stay out as late as you’d like without your cell phone blowing up with concerned-parent calls.

Whether you and your parents lived in peace or you were constantly fighting with each other, your parents are going to miss you; it’s an undeniable fact. Perhaps you counted down the days until you were leaving for college—and maybe your parents did too!—and when you arrive, you plan to celebrate this new-found freedom. As you go about celebrating, get ready for your phone to ring … and guess who it is? It’s mom and dad calling, just to, you know, make sure you’re doing ok and that you don’t need them to bring you any more dorm supplies.

Managing parents through a phone-based long distance relationship is plenty different than living at home with them. If you like your parents, and they like you, expect plenty of phone calls. But unlike a conversation at the dinner table, parents have a knack to call at the most inconvenient times. That 10-pager is due in an hour and … it’s Dad calling again! Don’t take it out on your dad, he didn’t know. Since they’ll want constant updates, and you’ll want to know how they’re doing, too, try setting up a time every day when you can each talk. Later at night should be convenient, but don’t forget that parents go to bed at old-people hours, like 9 or 10 p.m. Keep that in mind.

If you and your parents didn’t get along so great, they’ll still want to know how you’re doing in school. It’s just a parental instinct, and it holds true no matter how much you used to argue with them. As you now might have expected, expect that phone to start ringing! Now that you’re not under the same roof, it can actually be a good time to better your relationship. You won’t have to face daily face-to-face arguments, and everyone will now have more space (well, not literally since you’ll be stuck in small dorm room). So when the phone rings, answer it, and just let them know that things are going well. That’s all they’ll want to hear.

Parents especially like when you’re the one doing the calling. While you expect calls from them, they might never expect calls from you. Try surprising them! Don’t worry it’ll be a pleasant surprise. And try not to get in the habit of calling them only when you need something. Give them a ring every once in awhile just to see how they’re doing. Chances are you’ll be the only one with any exciting news to share, but checking in with them never hurts.

Above all, mom and dad just want to know that you’re safe. In all honesty, you can get away with lying to them now that you’re miles and miles away, but in truth they probably wouldn’t be too hurt as long as they know you’re ok. Use your time away from your parents to better your relationship, and things will be better off when you move back home! Just kidding. But in all seriousness, your parents will still be in your life for a long time, so keep them in mind during college life.

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